February 19, 2008

Plague

I hope this isn't an annual occurance, but I seem to recall fighting off illness that turned into walking pnemonia last year at this time. Suck. I hate being sick.


I'm not sure I'm going to need to finish my story. It's mostly for myself I think, I like to beat a dead horse.


I'm pretty happy though. So, perhaps it's just the inability to understand happiness.

I found.


I called a couple LYS instead of just the one I go to for Kauni. They actually had Noro sock yarn in now. Although I wasn't super crazy about the colorways at the one store I went to. So I'm going to try the other store sometime.


Did I blog about this before? The sick is getting in the way of my normal brain function. I sure hate germ season at daycare let me tell you.

The boy's still pretty cranky too from being sick, but at least there isn't the fever anymore.

I finally got mail! Yay!


My bf told me to quit stalking the mailman. I think I must have checked the mailbox at least every day for a week. This normally is only an occurrance twice a week, sometimes just once a month.


KnitPicks Options needles. Pretty. They do snag just a hair, but I like them. Eventually I will acquire the two longest cables. I don't like that the actual size isn't somewhere on the needle or on the cable. That's just asking for disaster when dealing with me.


Look, they even look pretty when used on the project of stealth.

February 14, 2008

Again

I'm getting tired of the snow. It makes some people even dumber than normal. It's pretty, but the older I get the less tolerant of the cold I get.
If it could be a nice balmy 80 degrees and snow, that would be nice. All this really does is get my car dirty.

I've lived here all my life and during the summer it's okay, but during the winter, I'd rather just hibernate.

It'll be gone by tomorrow. It's going to be cold tomorrow. Blech.

I've completed my 3rd striped Noro scarf. I just need to weave in the ends.
I'll be starting another one soon, but first I think I'm going to start a lace project. I have some wool/cashmere that is just wanting to be something. Sadly, the project pattern I had for it I don't think is going to work.

So, I've found 3 others. It's not even going to be what I thought it was in the first place. I'll divulge more into this project at a later date.

Look what I found.

Yum. Noro sock yarn.

I heart Noro. The ones I found today were so very bright. I think the bottom one will be a pair of socks for my daughter. The top one perhaps for me. Not sure if my son will get a set, he doesn't seem to like wearing socks much. I've also thought to start a list about what I'd like to learn that pertains to fiber arts this year or next.

1) Dye. Roving and sock yarn. I'm not sure where to find bare yarn though. I know KnitPicks has some, but I'm still waiting for my needle order. I hate waiting.

2) Lace. I have lace yarn. It's breeding in the bin I swear. stupid compulsive buying :)

3) Fair Isle knit. Enough said. I am collecting bits of Kauni, and I have plans for Noro as well. I'm sure they are somewhere in my head.

4) Design. I know I can. I just don't know what.

So, it should be a good year.

February 12, 2008

Pigeon-holed

As a verb. I've become a little obsessed. This was how my laughable "career" was described to me by a hiring manager at the corporation I work for.

I'm a little bitter.

I'll deal.

So, half ass-ed job hunting now. Why half assed? Well because part of me thinks that I could be chucked to the side any day. Although that would put a serious damper in their soul-sucking demeanor every day. I'd hate to put a kink in their quirk. The other part is because when I finally get home, I've got my other job, "mom," to complete in 3 hours or less. I am a tired tired person.

But I've realized a few things in the past month...

1) I don't think that that hiring manager wants to work with me really. It's the second/third time I've posted for the job.

2) It's not that I don't know enough. The first time she sent me away with stuff to improve on, this time she did it again. The guy who had a work history similar to mine is still there 2 years later. If she had hired me in the first place she wouldn't have gone through at least 4 other people since that point.

3) I do need a change from the evil window cube they've stuck me in, as well as the job, but I hate that window more. Worst thing to do to someone with crappy eyesight...stick them next to a window.

4) I am really freakin' busy with the kids. Mostly worrying over them. Which is what I'm doing now. I think my son is coming down with the croup again...or the plague, we'll see what the temperature is tomorrow morning.

5) This job is hindering my "career" goals.

6) I can't do it all. I really can't. I'm good at trying, but I can't. I'm tired

7) I think people at work, at least those around me to some extent, think I'm stupid. I'm not sure how I've given them this impression, but somehow I think I have. I think because I'm distracted at times...because I have a lot to remember. Work things, kids things, my life things...oh yea...bills...

Anyway, knitting.

Isn't it beautiful?

It is, and it's soft to touch. Silk and Romney, I think...label too far away, don't want to get up from chair.

I've learned one thing about this beautiful lump of fluff.

I hate batts.

This sucker just sheds all over me. I think I've gotten it down to a teeny trickle now, but it's irratating.

Even when I split up the batt and prepare it. I dunno...I did happen to run into another batt online that I think I like, but...well, we'll see.


It's spinning up nicely though. My wheel is not squeaking right now. I still can't figure out what is causing that by the treadle. I've oiled everything but the plastic. Kind of hesitant to do that.

I'm interested to see how this will ply. It may be a scarf or hat for my kid. She helped me pick the next spinning project from my plastic box collection.

Speaking of...the lace yarn I bought the other day...because I'm not quite sure how to reply to posts...I've forgotten the name of the yarn, but it's super super soft and just the right sort of gray for something. I haven't knitted lace and my needles have not yet arrived in the mail. I think it's enough for a scarf or something. I just need to find a pattern. I have a few books on lace, but I'm not quite sure I like any of the patterns.

I want to make a shawl or stole, but I'm not sure I want to wear one. Just like the Kauni yarn. Beautiful, but I don't know if I can wear that much rainbow. I'm not convinced I want to make a Fair Isle for the kids either. They grow so quickly and I knit kind of slowly.

The Koigu, I've never knitted with. I liked the colors though.


Here's the scarf so far. I'm almost done. I think I can complete it by Thursday. The skein had much more pink in it then it lead on. Oh well. Still nice.

I can't wait until I figure out if there are any LYS that carry Noro sock yarn. I know one will in March. But

March is SO far off.

When I'm rich, I'll open up a yarn store or something. Haha, better yet, when I have time to look into business requirements again.

Pretty sexy lookin' scarf too where I joined the pink end of a skein to the gray part of a new skein. Ah yes, lack of perfectionism at it's finest.

February 11, 2008

Spreading the word

A contest! Thought I'd do my part and let my 2 readers know.

February 10, 2008

Dramatized

Ah, yes the fun of being me.


Male in my life says, "I'm confused." I reply, "I'm crazy."


I wish I could figure out what it is exactly that is making me so cautious about relationships. I think in general, really. I seem to get to a point and then just stop. I can't figure out really how to move forward, or if I need to move forward or really what.


No more dwelling. I should get some sleep tonight.


So, one thing I did yesterday was go to my LYS, one of the many, but the only one that carries Kauni.

They had made mention of Noro sock yarn in March, and I had to check to see if it was in early.


Nope.


Rats.


But I did find some lovely lace weight yarn that is wonderful to touch and wanted to come home with me. I also found some Koigu. In two colorways I likes, but only one came home with me. I think I have plans for this.


I'm starting to not a trend though...nice yarn follows me home, but I don't know what to do with it. It's so lovely that I don't want to do anything with it for fear of fucking it up, really. So this is just causing a now overflowing bin of yarn to stockpile.


Okay, I knit Noro, but only scarves. In fact my kid asked why I only knit scarves. lol. Socks too, but mostly acrylic ones. I like cheap yarn, you can screw it up and not feel bad. It's washable and well, affordable.


I'm eager for the mail person to come soon. I think I'll get a package, which always makes me happy. Hopefully tomorrow.

February 09, 2008

Satisfaction

I don't think I'm ever going to be satisfied. It's a problem.

And now my knitting blog is my bitch blog. For those of you uninterested, skip it. :)

My career is pretty much at a stand still. I don't think it's because I'm incapable, I think it's because I've landed myself in this sort of vortex of inescapable doom. Okay. Time to move on. I'll figure out something. Granted, I'm sure I'll leap from the pot to the fire, but I suppose being roasted alive is different than boiled alive.

My dating life...yeah...well...my dating life is always complicated. Goes like this, evil selfish loser, in another state guy, selfish not a boyfriend, ready for too much to soon guy, and guy.

Guy's great. But. We're not too stupid teenagers anymore or even young carefree fledgling adults. We're two very very busy parents with little kids. And after his kid decided he wasn't going to sleep tonight, but instead just stay up forever mode (my kid's done this, I understand), I just sort of got irratated by it. But that's not a good description. It's like I came to this understanding...his kid needs him more than I do right now. I'm not doing so good coming in second here. It's also not helping that his kid tends to get away with behaviour that I can't stand in my own kids.

There's so much complication to this it's starting to tear at me. Tonight apparently was the night that I just didn't want to hang out on the couch knitting by myself waiting for kid to fall asleep.

So, now I'm home. Instead of at a friend's going away party because I had especially set aside this time thinking that it was going to be spent with me. However, that's not how it exactly worked out. I'm selfish I guess. It's all about me I guess. I said, "I'm going to go home if you're going to fall asleep." (since he was the one now sleeping as his kid is sitting there trying to point out items in the movie on TV) He says,

"I figured you would."

Thanks.

He says, "Don't I even get a kiss goodbye?"
Me, gives peck, hands full of stuff.
He says, "You're mad."
I say, "I'll talk to you later."

I think he may have said, "Ok, be careful driving."

I don't remember.

I kind of feel bad. I kind of feel just full of awareness. I was married and had a bad marriage because I was unaware. Now, now I'm overaware. It scares me to get involved with relationships. I want it my way or at least close to my way or forget it. I can't figure out if it's that I don't mesh well with the kid or with the situation.

Stupid racing brain. Stupid X marriage that fucked me all up in the relationship department. Stupid selfishness. Stupid dissatisfaction with life.

I know it could be worse, but tonight I just feel cruddy.

You know the worst part? This guy really really loves me. I can see it all over his face. That's the worst part of all.

February 07, 2008

Motivation

This is my latest spinning project. I bought this batt a few years ago. Needless to say I have another one in a different color in the closet.

It seemed like a good idea when I bought this for the drop spindle.

Now that I'm using the wheel to do this...

I don't like dealing with batts. Roving is SO much easier. This is just shedding all over me. Anyone, suggestions?

I don't have carders and I'm thinking that it would ruin the color if I just mixed it up more.

On the knitting front, I'm not up to much. Sort of due to 1) a lack of inspiration, 2) a great amount of stress.

However, I have been working on yet another Noro scarf. I heart Noro.
The scarf I made last year is currently falling to pieces. I can't even figure out where it came apart, but there's a gaping run in it.

Me: What if it's pink?
D: Did you make it?
Me: Yes.
D: Then I bet it will be warm and I'll wear it.
Me: What if your friends giggle.
D: Then I'll tell 'em they're jealous 'cause they don't have a girlfriend who'll make 'em one.

Ah, how can I not like the guy? He just makes me smile so. There's no hour long argument. No questioning my thoughts for being my thoughts. No snide remarks. He's taking me to dinner on Saturday. I hope I like it. ^_^