A Quarter

Why not take a stab at this...

1) I am inspired by other people, this causes me to be concerned that I tend plagiarize. Although I have not on purpose plagiarized on purpose.
2) I worry a lot. I always have. About what the future holds. I am a little obsessive about it. I can plan out 20 years of my life, but I have a hard time with 12 months. I also worry about what people think.
3) I like my live to be moving forward rather than standing still. I realize that I may not love my job, but it's a good job. I can't afford and I don't have the time to go back to school, I am raising two children, but maybe one of these days. Which is why I've come to the decision that life must move on and that I must do something about it.
4) I think the only person in charge of one's life is the individual (me in this case). I think a man can rearrange his own stars (A Knights Tale). I think that people these days are lacking in personal responsibility. That if they think life sucks, it could always be worse. If you are dissatisfied, then figure it out. People are smart if they take some time to think. I also think that there are some things in life you just cannot control. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.
5) The other shoe is my ex-husband. I don't think that man will ever realize how deeply I cared for him and how loyal I was to him. That's fine. Makes me a tiny bit sad at times, but I really have no feeling for it anymore. I don't know how much of my life I will ever share with the internet. Only because I am one of those people who likes the anonymity. It's unfortunate though because the only reason I like so much privacy now is because of the ex. I really don't care what people know about me. There are a few things I keep extremely private. Otherwise most is fair game.
6) Speaking of males...okay not really but, I have discovered that I like compliments, thoughtful gifts, cuddling, and talking. I've gotten more compliments out of men in the last 6 months than I did over my 10 year relationship with the ex. How sad is that?
7) I've never thought I was pretty. I grew up in a pretentious mountain town where the pretty girls had designer clothes and boys drooling all over them. I was the minority where I grew up. I have had people tell me that I should be proud of my country (meaning the one where I was born), but really, I'm proud to be an American (although in disagreeance with many topics these days). I don't get why people think I ought to claim another country I don't even remember.
8) I'm only starting to accept that I may in fact be pretty. "Beautiful," "gourgous," and "hot" are the words men and some women have described me as of late. It's a bit awkward for me to think of myself that way, but it didn't stop me from buying shirts that say "Dreams do come true when you're hot" and "Crush, an infatuation with a person of the opposite sex that is completely out of your league. Which is what most men have with me." Many of my very long time female friends have told me that they like this me much more than the old me. Me too.
9) I lived so long wondering who exactly it was staring back at me in the mirror when I was with my ex that it's onlybeen recently that I have been discovering who I am. I feel like I got stuck and I am only realizing things like...I like clothes. I like shopping. I like to dress up and go somewhere nice. Now I just need to find someone to go with.
10) However, that at times is difficult because I am shy. I am extroverted but shy. I like to be around people, I just won't necessarily talk to them. I am working on this.
11) I think my problem stems from the fact that I am a very good listener and I don't think that I have anything important to say.
12) Although, it has occurred to me very recently that people listen to what I have to say. They often repeat my same advice to me. Or tell me things they have thought of...that I have said to them. It tickles me when this happens.
13) I am a bit forgetful. I do the best I can. But I tend to be clutter and you can follow my progress on projects as I go through my day by following my clutter piles. I am working on this too.
14) My mother said, "some of us clean and tidy, others of us knit." Meaning me of course. I hate cleaning, but I am very good at it. I always get to it when I do, when I'm tired of looking at it. It's really not as bad as it sounds. I just like to do it when I am ready.
15) I am often not "ready." I work better under stress rather than pacing myself like my mother always advised. I don't know why I do this to myself. I hate feeling stressed.
16) I love massages. Any way, any shape, anyone. But especially a professional one. Helps me to de-stress.
17) I'm not very good at giving them back.
18) I tend to be a bit selfish, I blame that on being an only child.
19) I am not a very good communicator. Especially in relationships. I do not know how to verbalize what I want in order to get it. I am too nice and I am not picky enough.
20) Although, I am pretty good at presentation, teaching, and the like. I enjoy teaching.
21) Despite that I get a bit panicky when I have to speak in front of a crowd.
22) I don't like crowds. I am a little claustrophobic. I also get car sick now, which is unrelated to claustrophobia.
23) I do like talking. Mostly, about myself I think, or things that affecting me. I like to talk about people I know, how they are doing, what they are doing. On the phone, in person...
24) I don't like calling people on the phone, but I am really bad at calling men on the phone.
25) Relationships make me a bit hyper. I've figured out that I often date men who are emotionally unavailable. When I've actually date men who are emotionally available I don't know what to do and I usually will end up not being as interested anymore. See #7.

Hmm...
I've only made it to 25. I think it is due to me being tired and well...re-discovery. Maybe I'll think of some more. Knowing me it will be once I shut the computer down. :)