Gimme and "S"...YAY, Stress!

I had a craptastic weekend.

It started on Friday with a call from my mom. There was an incident at the daycare. This is a very long story that I still haven't gotten to the bottom of yet. No one was hurt, but the story isn't very clear, and I was not personally notified, nor was my X.

So, I wandered home and I found Smooshy in my mailbox, and well, yarn always makes me feel a tiny bit better. Yellow, blue, and purple colors. Beautiful.

I'll tell you, I am completely a Noob at this whole "luxury" sock yarn thing, but I can't tell the difference between the mediumweight STR and the lightweight. Of course I don't have any lightweight. So I ordered some. I agree that the mediumweight is thicker than Koigu, but it appears to be of similar weight to Shibui. It's soft.

I went to Fontana Sushi in Littleton and Abe's Cafe in downtown Littleton on Friday. I had cheesecake. It was nice. I'm good at the description, huh? They had these cute little miniture snapdragons out front and the gentleman working called me "Carolyn" with his accent. I was amused.

The next day I received my order from Fearless Fibers. I've been impressed with what people have knitted with this yarn as it supposedly doesn't pool. Also, it's the 7 deadly spins sock yarn club, at least I think so. Either way, I like the colors, the prices are good, and the shipping is quick.

I met up with a friend on Saturday night and we went to Vines in Parker. I highly recommend this place. It's a tapas bar. I had some sort of filet migion wrapped in pastry and brie. Drool. It was good. I also had the bruschetta, I have to admit I like mine with chunked mozzerella, this one wasn't too bad. More of a cream cheese with tomatos and balsamic on top. The wines they serve in glasses, bottles or basically half bottles. They also have "flights" where you can try 3 types of wine. I thought that was kind of clever. The prices are from $3 - $15 for the tapas. They have a patio or a dining area. I'd post a picture except my phone won't allow me to email pictures to myself anymore. Another lesson learned, take the camera stupid.

That night too, my friend and I talked about the supernatural. So, let me start with this. My experience with people, in general, is that often I find myself talking about stuff with people, and I find that people seem to tell me all sorts of things without any sort of filters, for whatever reason. Also, I get creeped out very very easily. My X always found this mildly amusing and would like to scare me just to see my reaction. I hated this. Lastly, I do think that there are things that cannot be explained. So, here it is about 10:30 pm or so, and she's relating her story to me. I told her, that I'd be more happy to talk with her about it, but it needed to be during the day, this was after about 30 minutes of conversation. She said she understood, but how conversation often goes, she kept going. I then sort of shuffled her out of my place then. Blah, blah, blah, tired, etc, etc.

Well, the next day, I had had my phone on silent because I had been up until 5:30 am watching Star Trek, partially due to stress, partially due to a little creeped out. When I finally check the phone around 11 am, here is this voicemail... "I think you were rude, my feelings were hurt, I was trying to tell you a story, etc etc." Then an hour later, another voicemail... "I'm sorry, I know your under a lot of stress, just forget my prior voicemail."

sigh

I have drama. I'm so normal it's painful I think. Maybe it's because I don't know what I think.

Sunday I went to Michaels to find a cross stitch frame holder. I found one, and I like it, I think it will work with my frame, but...I also picked up a 50% coupon for next week. Rats. I think I'm going to get another one using that coupon. Why, oh why, do I find out about sales when I'm AT the store.

Anyway, my long winded weekend came down to this. Did you know that stress causes you to knit tighter, which causes your gauge to be thrown all to pieces? I know, redundant. :) Sarcasm is my friend. So, my sock, my loved little sock, the first one came out so perfect. The second one came out at least an inch shorter. The YO look way smaller. I almost frogged them both. Dang. I've decided just to finish them up. Chalk it up to a learning experience, otherwise I will be knitting these same socks forever.

I don't think I'm a great knitter. I don't even think of myself to be an expert. I do find people asking me questions. I know quite a bit about knitting and I haven't ever knit anything yet, that I wasn't able to interpret, eventually. One knitter I met not too long ago told me I must just be good. Knitting, it just makes sense to me, now if only the rest of the world did.

Lessons learned from the Noro sock.

1. Stress effects gauge.
2. Try counting rows.
3. Try knitting both at the same time on 2 different needle sets.
4. Don't be afraid to pull enough out so the socks can kind of match, if that's what you want.
5. If making your own pattern...WRITE IT DOWN...more is better than less...

A gripe

It's occurred to me in recent months, I need to make some more friends. It's partially I think because some of the people I have known now, I have known for 10 some odd years. There can be some old drama that just doesn't heal in time. I'm glad to say that a lot has, but with some, the some I don't really talk to, it hasn't.

This occurred to me at a gathering that happened with people I don't always see on a regular basis. Apparently some of the group was pre-asked to give advice. I had no idea, I wasn't asked, I figured it was because I don't really get along with the host. We're sort of distanced acquaintenaces. However, I noticed that another newly divorced person there also mumbled about how she meant to give to this as well, but the way she mumbled it made me wonder if she had even been given notice. We were the only two non-married people there in that particular circle of friends.

So, it made me wonder, there were some rifts made when my X and I split. Not that he kept up with any of those friends we had had. I had the opinion that he had done something wrong in my opinion, and he had the opinion that he was doing the right thing. That in itself is neither here nor there. It was important to me at one point in time, now it just makes me think that it must be very hard to be friends with a person whom you know is actively cheating/lying/etc on their spouse.

It also made me wonder if there are any single women, who knit, have kids, like games, and are happily divorced. I only seem to run into mostly happy married people or singles who have never been married and who don't have kids. If there's anyone out there who fits the first category, please say hi.

I love my friends. They are very important to me in whatever capacity they are able to spend time with me or I with them. The constraints of my life however, seem to hinder a lot of the time I wish I could spend with them too. I wish too that I knew of more people who have had similiar life experiences like I have...ugh, I don't know, it's all just this sort of weird lonliness I think, where I realize sock yarn and the internet won't necessarily make up for real live people. Realizing too, that some of the interests I had, that kept me in constant contact with people, were not really mine, but my X's.

I'm over-sensitive, but I won't admit that to you.

No title is a good title

I've been pondering some about blogs lately. I've never really found myself to be all that interesting. I'm sort of full of self induced complaints, know-it-all advice, lousy grammar, and noncontinuous thoughts. I used to think that I was better at putting thoughts into words instead of words into thought, but I'm not finding that to be true. I'm finding that I simply am a random brained person who makes up words to describe their perception of the world. I think too, I don't have as much to complain about anymore. It's this sort of just acceptance of any given situation, and knowing when situations are simply out of your control. This doesn't mean it is any easier not to give my advice. I like running things.

Maybe that's why I enjoy knitting. I'm in control of how my product turns out. At least, most of the time. Like my sock for instance. I'm kind of following a pattern, but I'm improvising some. I'm pretty proud of myself. I'm enjoying my kfb instead of M1, although I wonder if they will be too tight.

I also like seeing progress. This is why knitting is so great for me. This too explains why I'm so frustrated with my job, but that is not a story for today.

The great part about knitting too, is realizing when you almost have the heel flap completely done, that you've knit it off to the side somehow, just slightly. Enough that you know there is no good quick fix, frogging is the only answer. Since I didn't figure this out until 10:30 pm last night I don't have a picture, because really, when I find my mistakes I usually don't go looking for my camera right away, because that would impede on my progress of correcting the error. So, all I have is this picture of the sock I'm working on. My happy twiney sock.

The thing that is bugging me the most today, is that fact that I cannot figure out how to tell someone that I think that they are a worthless ass, in a nice sort of PC way. We've had this discussion before, him and I, many, many times before. He just doesn't seem to get it though. So, I'm left with accepting the situation. I just hate sucky situations. I hate it when people don't understand what the right thing to do is. Even if it sucks for them too. Somehow it will puzzle itself through. This however is complicated in situations of divorce. Things become mine and not ours and responsibility is only okay when it doesn't involve money.

sigh

Somedays I wish I could just do more.

Did I ever mention I'm vague too? 3 more hours until work is over and I can go knit more. I'm reading Yarn Harlot's book, I think the first one, it has a little distressed looking sheep on the cover. Her humor and observations are delightful. I especially can relate the parts about children. Mine told me that for Mother's Day they will allow me to sleep in, even though they will be hungry. My daughter also informed me that she was going to just let me stay in bed if I wanted to all day, but no knitting.

Lol, what? What kind of relaxing day is it when one can't knit to relax?

Observations...and my first yarn tasting.

I haven't been checking my mailbox like a crazy yarn junkie. I've had the best restraint ever. However, that has caused me to wonder, where is my order (I need it for my contest)? Okay. It's only been 3 out of the 5-7 business days. This is the only reason I visit any LYS. I like to buy things online, I like their cheaper prices and I like free shipping but, damnit, I want it now.

Tonight is Yarn Tasting at A Knitted Peace. I've never been to one before. I typically don't knit with expensive yarns (unless it's a scarf) out of a weird sense of guilt. I paid how much for what? What if I screw it up?? It's as though I want to put it in it's own vaccum seal bag/box for posterity. I'll walk by it occasionally and think, "Wow. That sure would look pretty knitted into a sweater."

This was really a great event. Apparently, around 40 people had signed up for this. I can't say I met a lot of people. I saw a lot of people. My social skills are waning. If it weren't for my love of yarn I wouldn't have gone to this seeing that my social skills right now are on the bristly side.

They were busy. I would so go to this again. They had little appetizers, sushi rolls, crackers and cheese, and fruit. Wine and sodas.

I think I like this store because it's medium sized. They had about 5 sitting areas. Mostly around tables of some sort.

My little bag o' stuff had about 6 balls of purpled yarns (which was great, I like purple), a little sheet of patterns, a glass bowl, a sample of SOAK, a nail file, and a pad of paper. *grin* Now if I could only figure out what I ought to knit out of the yarn. I tried twice, but decided that my only pair of needles, size 7, weren't going to cut it. I forgot the rest of my needle set, but they had some "house" needles. I've pondered a scarf from this only because I don't really want a bunch of swatches wandering around my house.

I found some (clockwise from the left) Koigu, Kauni, Noro Silk Garden,and Berracco that just begged to go home with me. The Berracco everyone was raving about. The Noro...269. Happy, happy. Oh and they sell Happy Feet, I just couldn't find 2 skeins of the same colorway that I liked. I'll check back.

At the end of this year. They also have a ton of the Noro sock yarn, they did not have the Noro silk garden sock yarn. They said their rep would be coming by soon and that they would check with them. I want to try the silk twine. I still haven't tried my Noro, but I haven't heard great things so far.

Whilst I was at the yarn tasting, I noticed a sign for an Alpaca Fiber Festival and the National Western Stockshow complex...this weekend. Oh crap, roving galore...and me helping a friend tomorrow. Rats! Friendship. Perhaps Sunday then. Yes. Sunday. Roving.

I have a confession. One I've been avoiding for months now. It however is becoming harder to hide and one I can't deny.

I've become a yarn snob.

I know. Can you believe it? I still have 4 boxes of cheap acrylic yarn (verigated, solid, boucle, extra bits). I like cheap acrylic yarn...wait...before anything might be thrown at me for my tastes...it's easy to wash, I don't mind terribly if I totally screw it up, I have kids, it's worsted weight and makes fairly quick socks for people I dutifully think I have to knit for out of family kinship (and who think I ought to knit these things faster than I do.) My yarn snobbery is starting to show through more and more though.

It started with a box, just one, barely filled. A few skeins of Noro, a clearance wool from an LYS, a couple of balls of sock yarn. Then I went to the Estes Park Wool Festival with Imbrium and her beloved. It was like a small force of nature walking through the aisles of yarn. Laceweight, 2 of some sort (didn't keep the label, ah the innocence of not realizing how batshit insane that would make me now), 2 cashmere lace, and some roving later joined my lone box. My lone box however communicated to me, in a dream I'm sure, that the roving could not mingle with the yarn, you know, being roving. So the boxes became 2. One with roving and spindles, the other with luxious wool. No longer was it this itchy horrible nuisance to me anymore.

This brings us to the present. I got a great deal on some plastic bins at Target. The lone box became, the box of lace and worsted, commercially produced sock yarn, hand dyed sock yarns, and roving/spindles. They now rival my acrylic and I have this foreboding sense that it'll just grow larger. I'm hoping however that the higher quality yarns with just over take the boxes of acrylic. I'm not convinced of this. Especially since I'm expected at A Knitted Peace tonight and they have Kauni and Koigu. I sense that the Kauni and laceweight may demand their own box. Especially if there happens to be the black/gray or purple/black/gray colorways at the store.

Ah yes, my children will one day sit down and think, I wonder what mom left us...what?! Whadda ya mean 120 boxes of yarn? (6 in two years, divided by 2, equal 3, if I live to 70 and 3 boxes per year, would equal 120, which includes the 6 I currently have)

Lastly, I have a question, I hope somone can answer. Socks that Rock. I am the worst customer ever. I've emailed them about 4 times waffling, lightweight, mediumweight, mediumweight, lightweight. Oh hell, just stick with my mediumweight order. My friend once told me to quit reading about medical ailments online, this goes for yarn reviews as well. I don't know what kind of sock yarn I prefer. I've never knitted a pair of socks for myself. I've only knitted Fortissma, in the same colorway no less, 3 times. My daughter said she liked them but they were itchy. So, when STR colorways wandered into my view I had to have. I ordered 4 skeins of mediumweight. Am I going to hate this yarn?? I'm scared.

3 days...

...until May 1.

May 1 being my 2nd year blogiversary. I will see how many lurkers I have. I'm thinking 3.

I'm not sure what the prize will be. It will either be a sock yarn of something, I was thinking Shibui however, my little ones do not have much tolerance for 1) yarn stores, 2) mom's weird need to always run "errands" to them. Therefore this weekend I did not make it up to Knit Knack to pick up some (yes, I know I have some, enough to drown myself, but it's it's in my stash and seems so very happy). So, my dilemma is this, I may just pick up some lace from A Knitted Peace tomorrow as I will be in that area of town, and hopefully it will be warm as I will be carless.
Reading back...I may just stash bust. It would probably save my sanity and give me a reason to order a few more colors from Simply Socks.

Onward. Yesterday my girl kid decided that her special friend of the day was going to be Furrball from Tiny Toons. She renamed him "Bob." Bob went everywhere with us yesterday, yarn store, haircut, home, park, home, park, haircut, ice cream, home. You may have noticed home and park were in there twice, this was not a typing error, but my reality as I have a boy child who always insists that he does not have to go to the bathroom only to find out frantically that he does once we arrive (sometimes before) that he has to go. If you see my car on the side of the road...yeah. Anyway, Bob was noticed missing at bedtime. Rats. I hate to admit that I actually have this weird sort of emotional tie to Bob. You see Bob was once mine. I got him on a trip to Florida with my parents. I think one of the last trips I went on with them really, because then I just became too cool to hang out with my parents for any length of time. So, my stupid inner "only" child was pretty annoyed at my girl child for forgetting Bob somewhere. I know, I know, then why give it to her to play with? Well, I'm over 30 now, do I really need hundreds of stuffed animals? I mean I don't sit up late at night playing tea party with them, and really they do sort of sit in my variety of plastic bags and boxes lest they take over the house. I couldn't be mad at her, she was very upset at forgetting Bob. I can understand that...sort of...stupid only child syndrome, everything is mine.

Bob was located at the haircut place. He was a little miffed about hanging out there all night, but the girl was very happy to see Bob.

So, my lesson for the week it to let go. This is a very helpful lesson really, because my inability to let go of issues causes me to worry about everything. Less stress would be a good thing right?

The good news. I called the haircut place today and they have Bob. I will pick Bob up after work. See? All that worry for naught.

I have resurrected the project of this scarf for friend. I worked on it last night. Can you tell? I can't either. I have come to realize between watching Captain Janeway and crew try to get back to the Alpha quadrant and SSK that I'm not sure how to end this scarf. By end, I mean how to do the last triangle. It started from a right angle to an equilateral triangle...how do I get it back to the right angle? The directions are a little confuddling. My solution it to make a mini version of this...bookmark sized and puzzle it out. I'm sure this will only confuse me more. I can't wait to finish off this scarf though. I'm not very excited about this yarn. You know, when I first bought this type of yarn (I have 3 more colors of this stuff) I had grand ideas of them becoming sweaters for the kids. Riight. Since this scarf I have learned...um...no way. So those colors will become scarves...but hopefully scarves where you don't have to knit and then knit in the back of same stitch at the beginning of each odd row. I don't know why my eyes seem to think boucle yarns seem so fascinating...because my brain knows better.

My granny square crochet is progressing. 4 squares. They take me about 30 minutes to crochet. Longer than I thought, but mind numbing. So mind numbing in fact I think I messed up the 3rd one by forgetting to ch1 at the beginning of one of the white sc. Poo. I will not frog the square. I will not frog the square. It's not as off as the pink one I ch3 in each corner instead of ch2, and let me tell you, that makes a big difference. I'm not looking forward the the sewing. If only projects could sew themselves. Maybe that is why I've only really made socks and scarves. I don't have to sew them.

Happy warm week.

Friday

Today is the second "jeans" day Friday they've had at work, well, since they brought it back. It's kind of nice. I'm easy to please. Give me work. Say thank you. Let me wear jeans. Now only if I could work from home. That would be super.

Hopefully when I get home I will have my order from Crash Into Ewe. I know, just what I need, another skein of yarn. Last one. Really. :) Rats. It didn't make it today. It's another silver skein in a red colorway. A friend of mine said it was soft, because I had mentioned that I was concerned that the others weren't going to be, and because of her comment I decided I needed a red skein. I think a black and purple skein would be nice too.

I have a new obsession interest pertaining to yarn, plastic yarn. Made from plastic bags of course. I have just a *ton* of these and I haven't remembered to take them to the little recycle kiosks at the grocery store. Soooo.... what better way to entertain my inner OCD child than with making yarn out of plastic bags?! Kind of odd aren't I? I think I have come up with a method too. I'm excited. I'll knit a bag or something. Too bad grocery stores don't make them out of really pretty colors. I think I only have brown and white. My kiddo wants me to make a bag for her. I'm excited and she's on this eco kick since hearing about Earth Day at school.

I started crocheting last night. Well, after I finished frogging these pink granny squares. I had made them a long time ago out of yarn, mixed with new yarns, from an afghan I frogged that I was going to make for myself and my X for our room. Oh well, I figured I wasn't crazy about the colors anymore and I didn't want to use the yarn that was something for us, so I thought I would use it to make something else. Unfortunately, when I started making the pink granny squares I made some, stopped, made some more, realized the squares were different sizes since I wasn't using the right pattern. Apparently I just made one up in my head. So I plundered on, corrected myself on the ones going forward, but there were 2 that bugged me. I figured that I would sew them in and no one would be the wiser.

Well, last night I decided that was BS and that I wanted to start on another afghan for my cousin's second son. So I frogged the pink ones, they were bugging me, and I started on some blue ones. I know...different color anyway. Stupid perfectionist brain. You really have no idea how hard it is for me to fix that one sock.

So, I will update this later and add pictures.

I've now added pictures. I don't know if Bloglines updates, updated blogs or not. Anyone know?

I took the kids to dinner tonight, which was nice family time for us. I also met Imbrium and her *husband* (grins) and gave them their wedding gift, which I did have at the time of the wedding but had left in the middle of the floor of my apartment when I was rounding up myself and the kids to get ready and leave. I was so worried we were going to be late, we ended up an hour early.

To my total surprise Imbrium gifted me with fluffy *greatness* from Rhinebeck. OMG. LOOKY!! Merino/Tussah and Tussah. My wheel drools. Thank you!!

It was so nice to run into you guys twice. lol.

Another good excuse to head up north is Black and Read in Arvada, CO. It's a used book/CD/DVD/VCR/game store. I heart this store.

I've always liked used CD stores. My girlfriend in high school introduced them to me when I was 14 or 15. 200+ CDs later I was hooked. Needless to say, my interests moved from there. Not to say that any of the games I've purchased there yet have been used, but they have the best discount in town IMO.

I think I've always loved games. This however was always difficult for me, being an only child. I remember many many times playing Life, Monopoly, PayDay, etc by myself. I'd max out the players and take turns and play for hours. My parents, especially my mom, was very good at taking the time when she was home to play the games with me, but I always wanted more players. My dad was pretty good at trying to understand the rules too, but didn't play as often as my mom.

This fascination has followed me to my adulthood. However, I am running into the issue of frequency of play, as in, not nearly enough. My friends are pretty spread out now, le sigh. I am toying around with an idea of having Friday themed nights, sending out to people I know and see how many people are interested in coming over to play a specific game, and then whatever after. This is a good idea...otherwise I'm just this odd sort of collector...with a yarn addiction.

Look!

A pretty spring day!

I'm sick. I hate being sick. What's worse? My ceiling is dripping...again.

I'm not finding much excitement in my breakfast, but I'm eating because I know I ought to.

No pictures of yarn or projects today. I did however think of the subject of topic for my blogiversary contest..."What makes a good blog?" I've been blogging, my knitting for 2 years now. I've had online journals for more than that. However, I still feel sort of like a newbie.

Anywho...blogiversary in May. I hope to see what kind of lurkers I have. :)

My relationship with the mail

Since I'm not so cool to pre-write blogs and remember to take all the pictures later...

This is my FO wine cozy. Cute. Can't wait to see what it looks like felted. It will be the first non clog I've felted. I like the green yarn with it's bits of color. I found it on clearance at the Recycled Lamb, years ago. It think the biggest trick will be to keep it from felting on itself.

This is the latest of the Noro scarves. I love the way the dark and the light are mixing together. There's another colorway of Kureyon that I think would look better, but I'm going to wait for an end of year sale. Besides, I have enough socks to keep me busy for years.

Yesterday in the mail I received stuff from Knit/Purl. They have Shibui AND they have new new colors of Shibui. I ordered, a lot. I think that Shibui will be my blog contest yarn, I just haven't figured out what color. I may wander up to Knit Knack and figure it out sometime in May or I may look on Simply Socks. I'm such a stash fiend.

I also received stuff from Damselfly Yarns. Apparently this was a dye and then a re-dye. It turned out lovely. I love the orangey/melon color, I think it goes so well with the pink and blue. I can't wait to see how this knits up.

I've realized something about myself recently. The more I seem to want stuff from the mail, the more distant I'm becoming socially. I'm not really sure what to make of it. I just happened to notice that I became very involved with swapping with penpals twice in my life and I've been feeling that desire to get back into that hobby again. However, I realize that the amount that I tend to get involved is very time consuming.

My ceiling is no longer dripping, now there is a gaping hole in the ceiling. We can please people some of the time but we can't please all the people all the time.

Yay

Yay.

This bag is so freakin' cool. I liked the cranberry one in person, but the lining was very stiff and I couldn't get the darn drawstring to close fully. I did try. A lot. Oh well. I like this one too.

Just what I need. Another pointless object. I heart it.

It occurred to me I could probably just use a yoga mat bag, but this is pretty durable. I suppose I could try to make one, but I'm not very talented with any shape other than a square.

I've also never lined a thing in my life. This works much better.

I'm excited.

1) It'll hopefully distribute the weight evenly-ish on my back instead of my side bag or my backpack.

2) You can wear it while knitting.

3) I think it's stylish. I'm telling you, the red one was really really pretty.

Inside is my favorite yarn ;p it's going to be a multidirectional scarf. It's turning out sort of the way I think it should. I think I should make one out of Noro someday.


This was my quick fix to my size 6 needle that my son accidentally stepped on. The project of stealth was partiallyknitted on this as well as my trusty old aluminum needle.

This fix consisted of craft glue (which didn't hold) and nail polish (which did). Quite clever. I'll have to remember that trick, or just settle for knitting needles sold at LYS.

The replacement finally arrived. Much, much sooner than I expected which was great. Although I had already finished the project of stealth.

It'll be ready for next time. I've also acquired some DP out of the harmony wood. Not as fascinating as the circulars, but still neat looking. Shorter than I usually knit with, only 6 inches. I would have preferred the 8 inches. Oh well. This works.

I also picked up some bare wool for my dye experiment. I didn't take pictures of that. I figure the kids and I can take out the crockpot sometime and some food coloring to try it out. I am sold on the whole acid dye thing...but really, studios...outside, vented...away from the house is a good thing.

Anyone interested in the fish tank...

Look!

I have fish!

The bacterial bloom has cleared itself up. No casualties. Woot.

Ack!!

No knitting today at all.


Um...any aquarium enthuists? Help! Not sure how to cure a bacterial bloom. There are 8 fish in here...somewhere.


Partial water change...ugh.


8p

Dear Neighbor...

The post in my LJ is:

Much swearing to follow. Please avoid if you aren't one prone to the taste of swearing.

As much as I like the Eagles...which I don't...I especially don't like being woken up to them blaring through my fucking wall at 11:45 pm.

HATE SHARED WALLS

HATE THIS FUCKING NEIGHBOR

This has been a problem since elephant feet and her kid moved in with their little dog.

Yes, I am the fucking wicked witch of the west. Note to self. Do not live on 1st floor under stupid neighbor.

Bitter. Bitter.

Get this out before I go insane. Please Mr. Sandman fucking whap me in the head.Oh and you know what's super cool. My apartment doesn't...um what's the word? Oh yea, give a flying fuck. Okay whatever. Their courtesy patrol doesn't cover this property anymore. Great.

Note to self. Wake up at 5:00 AM and slam doors, and make children scream. Maybe karma could help me out and thirtysomething, party animal, with child, could wake up with a big hangover or something. Maybe her hand could be glued to her forehead. Maybe her dog will pee in her shoe.

I've already written my complaint to my worthless management company. Again.

I cuss like a sailor. Screw it. I'm tired. I'm cranky. I hate being woken up. The thing that bothers me the most is that I can't figure out if I am a light sleeper or if my neighbor is an ass. Right now I think it's the latter. On the off chance that she's a knitter and surfing the knitting blogs...it's 12:19 am on Wednesday March 5, 2008...please turn it down...

I always thought that when I grew up I was going to party all night and be loud an obnoxious. What I'm finding out is that my party animal ways and opinions are becoming more and more conservative the older I get. I don't know if this is good or bothersome. Frankly, my one brain cell is having enough problems typing in the dark rather than puzzling this out. Oh, how pissed I'm going to be if one of the kids wakes up...try me...

On to a better topic. Yes, so my sleepy brain can go back to happy dreams of Star Trek and yarn. Yay.

I found more Noro sock yarn, in less circus like colors. Yay!

My 4th plastic yarn box is becoming crazily smaller than I thought...rats. Not sure where I'll stash a 5th stash box.

Stupid addiction to randomly buying squooshy yarn. Now...all I need to do it knit some socks up. It amazes me the lack of knitting items I've done, even though I've knitting for about 8 years now. I'm pretty sure I can knit anything, but all I ever seem to knit are scarves and socks for other people.

My current project is the project of stealth. One day I'll post pictures of it, but not today. :)
I bought books.

Another annoying habit of mine. I'm suspecting that if I didn't have this nasty tendancy of picking up books, yarn, card/board games, and kitchen appliances, I might actually buy a house.

Nights like this should remind me of this. Although the one little hang up I have is this overwhelming stress I have from the X over a lousy property owned between us that we just could...wait...that he just lazily dealt with and now is going belly up because of it.

Ever have moments in your life where you are being dragged under because you were too close to the edge of the whirlpool? I'd like off of this ride now. One day...one day...all of the crap I've got to deal with from my divorce will stop.

Right? o_O

I broke my ball winder. I'm not sure when it happened, but one of the little feet snapped off. The worst part is that I think I found it at one point in time and I threw it away because I thought it was part of some toy wandering around the house.

I made a sort of hopeful replacement from Fimo. I tried super glue...to stick it on. I think I need epoxy. Eventually I'll remember this from the hardware store.

It seems a shame to throw the whole thing away for a tiny foot. However, I found that tiny missing foot to be so important.

I finished the Crosspatch fiber batt. I have another one I just started spinning.

The new one has a pretty high silk content and is spinning almost threadlike. I was going to spin it on the Golding spindle I've never used. However, either I've forgotten how to use a drop spindle or at least I'm not sure how to use this one. It would wildly spin, and it annoyed me, so on the wheel it goes.

The spindle seemed as though it was going to be beautifully balanced. Top whorl, but it seems to spin the bottom half wildly...going to try again at a later date.

This batch however, made a lot more yarn than I expected. I'm not sure that I spun it tight enough. That sadly didn't make itself apparent until after I plyed it. 2 ply. Seems sort of wispy here and there.

Now that I've spun other fiber brands than Crosspatch, I'm not sure I'm so excited about it anymore. I enjoy the colors and especially the tubes for some reason, but...

I am going to some how figure a way up to the Estes Park festival this year so I can stock up on some fiber. I've got to remember this this year. Mostly because I don't want to develop a habit of buying fiber online. Way too tempting to do it all the time. :)

Kay...time for bed again I suppose. Pillow over head.

Pigeon-holed

As a verb. I've become a little obsessed. This was how my laughable "career" was described to me by a hiring manager at the corporation I work for.

I'm a little bitter.

I'll deal.

So, half ass-ed job hunting now. Why half assed? Well because part of me thinks that I could be chucked to the side any day. Although that would put a serious damper in their soul-sucking demeanor every day. I'd hate to put a kink in their quirk. The other part is because when I finally get home, I've got my other job, "mom," to complete in 3 hours or less. I am a tired tired person.

But I've realized a few things in the past month...

1) I don't think that that hiring manager wants to work with me really. It's the second/third time I've posted for the job.

2) It's not that I don't know enough. The first time she sent me away with stuff to improve on, this time she did it again. The guy who had a work history similar to mine is still there 2 years later. If she had hired me in the first place she wouldn't have gone through at least 4 other people since that point.

3) I do need a change from the evil window cube they've stuck me in, as well as the job, but I hate that window more. Worst thing to do to someone with crappy eyesight...stick them next to a window.

4) I am really freakin' busy with the kids. Mostly worrying over them. Which is what I'm doing now. I think my son is coming down with the croup again...or the plague, we'll see what the temperature is tomorrow morning.

5) This job is hindering my "career" goals.

6) I can't do it all. I really can't. I'm good at trying, but I can't. I'm tired

7) I think people at work, at least those around me to some extent, think I'm stupid. I'm not sure how I've given them this impression, but somehow I think I have. I think because I'm distracted at times...because I have a lot to remember. Work things, kids things, my life things...oh yea...bills...

Anyway, knitting.

Isn't it beautiful?

It is, and it's soft to touch. Silk and Romney, I think...label too far away, don't want to get up from chair.

I've learned one thing about this beautiful lump of fluff.

I hate batts.

This sucker just sheds all over me. I think I've gotten it down to a teeny trickle now, but it's irratating.

Even when I split up the batt and prepare it. I dunno...I did happen to run into another batt online that I think I like, but...well, we'll see.


It's spinning up nicely though. My wheel is not squeaking right now. I still can't figure out what is causing that by the treadle. I've oiled everything but the plastic. Kind of hesitant to do that.

I'm interested to see how this will ply. It may be a scarf or hat for my kid. She helped me pick the next spinning project from my plastic box collection.

Speaking of...the lace yarn I bought the other day...because I'm not quite sure how to reply to posts...I've forgotten the name of the yarn, but it's super super soft and just the right sort of gray for something. I haven't knitted lace and my needles have not yet arrived in the mail. I think it's enough for a scarf or something. I just need to find a pattern. I have a few books on lace, but I'm not quite sure I like any of the patterns.

I want to make a shawl or stole, but I'm not sure I want to wear one. Just like the Kauni yarn. Beautiful, but I don't know if I can wear that much rainbow. I'm not convinced I want to make a Fair Isle for the kids either. They grow so quickly and I knit kind of slowly.

The Koigu, I've never knitted with. I liked the colors though.


Here's the scarf so far. I'm almost done. I think I can complete it by Thursday. The skein had much more pink in it then it lead on. Oh well. Still nice.

I can't wait until I figure out if there are any LYS that carry Noro sock yarn. I know one will in March. But

March is SO far off.

When I'm rich, I'll open up a yarn store or something. Haha, better yet, when I have time to look into business requirements again.

Pretty sexy lookin' scarf too where I joined the pink end of a skein to the gray part of a new skein. Ah yes, lack of perfectionism at it's finest.

Dramatized

Ah, yes the fun of being me.


Male in my life says, "I'm confused." I reply, "I'm crazy."


I wish I could figure out what it is exactly that is making me so cautious about relationships. I think in general, really. I seem to get to a point and then just stop. I can't figure out really how to move forward, or if I need to move forward or really what.


No more dwelling. I should get some sleep tonight.


So, one thing I did yesterday was go to my LYS, one of the many, but the only one that carries Kauni.

They had made mention of Noro sock yarn in March, and I had to check to see if it was in early.


Nope.


Rats.


But I did find some lovely lace weight yarn that is wonderful to touch and wanted to come home with me. I also found some Koigu. In two colorways I likes, but only one came home with me. I think I have plans for this.


I'm starting to not a trend though...nice yarn follows me home, but I don't know what to do with it. It's so lovely that I don't want to do anything with it for fear of fucking it up, really. So this is just causing a now overflowing bin of yarn to stockpile.


Okay, I knit Noro, but only scarves. In fact my kid asked why I only knit scarves. lol. Socks too, but mostly acrylic ones. I like cheap yarn, you can screw it up and not feel bad. It's washable and well, affordable.


I'm eager for the mail person to come soon. I think I'll get a package, which always makes me happy. Hopefully tomorrow.

Satisfaction

I don't think I'm ever going to be satisfied. It's a problem.

And now my knitting blog is my bitch blog. For those of you uninterested, skip it. :)

My career is pretty much at a stand still. I don't think it's because I'm incapable, I think it's because I've landed myself in this sort of vortex of inescapable doom. Okay. Time to move on. I'll figure out something. Granted, I'm sure I'll leap from the pot to the fire, but I suppose being roasted alive is different than boiled alive.

My dating life...yeah...well...my dating life is always complicated. Goes like this, evil selfish loser, in another state guy, selfish not a boyfriend, ready for too much to soon guy, and guy.

Guy's great. But. We're not too stupid teenagers anymore or even young carefree fledgling adults. We're two very very busy parents with little kids. And after his kid decided he wasn't going to sleep tonight, but instead just stay up forever mode (my kid's done this, I understand), I just sort of got irratated by it. But that's not a good description. It's like I came to this understanding...his kid needs him more than I do right now. I'm not doing so good coming in second here. It's also not helping that his kid tends to get away with behaviour that I can't stand in my own kids.

There's so much complication to this it's starting to tear at me. Tonight apparently was the night that I just didn't want to hang out on the couch knitting by myself waiting for kid to fall asleep.

So, now I'm home. Instead of at a friend's going away party because I had especially set aside this time thinking that it was going to be spent with me. However, that's not how it exactly worked out. I'm selfish I guess. It's all about me I guess. I said, "I'm going to go home if you're going to fall asleep." (since he was the one now sleeping as his kid is sitting there trying to point out items in the movie on TV) He says,

"I figured you would."

Thanks.

He says, "Don't I even get a kiss goodbye?"
Me, gives peck, hands full of stuff.
He says, "You're mad."
I say, "I'll talk to you later."

I think he may have said, "Ok, be careful driving."

I don't remember.

I kind of feel bad. I kind of feel just full of awareness. I was married and had a bad marriage because I was unaware. Now, now I'm overaware. It scares me to get involved with relationships. I want it my way or at least close to my way or forget it. I can't figure out if it's that I don't mesh well with the kid or with the situation.

Stupid racing brain. Stupid X marriage that fucked me all up in the relationship department. Stupid selfishness. Stupid dissatisfaction with life.

I know it could be worse, but tonight I just feel cruddy.

You know the worst part? This guy really really loves me. I can see it all over his face. That's the worst part of all.

Maybe some could explain to me...

...why I pay my taxes every year. I think a part goes to public eduation. I think. Not sure really, I've never seen the check.



Why do I get letters for please donate $5.00 to our silent auction. Yes, $5.00 isn't much, but what about the people who have 3 kids? Please buy books from our book club...I now get 5 pamphlets, almost every other month. They sell DS and gameboy games. This is beyond stupid. What happened to the $0.99 books? Why are they selling entire 29 book series now for just $29.99!


So, please, someone explain what happened to the ability to knit a potholder and donate it to your kid's class silent auction basket? My kid's basket last year...consisted of and i-pod!!!

WTF??!!!


An i-pod AND a $75.00 itunes certificate...it may have been $50.00...am I the only one who thinks that that is COMPLETELY insane???


I'll make a scarf, I'll make a dishrag...I'll teach someone how to knit. But buy an ipod??? I can't afford to get one for my kid. Oh, and last year she was only in the first grade people. Yes, I believe that a bunch of 7 year old kids thought of an ipod. What kind of fool does this overpresumptious, popularity contest, mom think?!


(apology to the presumptious...well, sort of)


Oh not to mention the 2 snacks a day my kid gets. America is overweight...I wonder why...is it possible because we're feeding our children snack stuff from a box twice a day so that by the time I get them home and put some veggies into them they turn their noses and make gagging sounds? Yea, super.


My ex mother-in-law sent me roving. For fixing her computer that either of her sons are too lazy to help her fix.

My *boyfriend* and I have assisted her with fixes around her house. This boggles my mind...



My EX mother-in-law...sends me items because I help and I keep in touch. Fascinating when families fall apart. Sad really. I don't understand why people do this to themselves really.

I have friends doing this to each other right now, and I just can't figure out the motivation.

It's beautiful though. I was totally surprised. It's a complicated story. But it was a very sweet thought.

I've finished the roving from Pagosa Springs. Turned out pretty good I must say. But it bleeds a lot when washed. I added vinegar and let soak, but it still ran.

(heh, the gloves remind me of Dexter's Laboratory.)

It's still drying. 10oz of fluff!



Not too bad eh? I <3>

Happy New Year

Okay.

Out to the endless sea of bloggers...maybe someone will run across this site. Maybe it'll just be me. I remember being so full of stuff to write, a long time ago. Now, I just don't really have that much to say. Surely, I think still. It's just that when I get some free time to myself I'd rather knit, read, spin, craft, play WoW, instead of load up pictures and write about them. I've always been bad with pictures anyway. I either forget the camera, take the camera and forget to take te pictures or something.

Like the crock pot lid. Which I did happen to find. My son acquired it into his play kitchen where the cars were using it to race...somehow.

2008. Another year.

I'm starting to feel old. I'm feeling lazy, and there's nothing I seem to want to DO to fix it. Oh, you know like get off my soft bottom and do a sit up. I remember being very skinny. I still have my skinny pants. I find myself wondering what it would have been like to be 25 without a little kid, and a tummy that looked like a raisin.

So my resolutions I'll find time to do when I'm dead...

1. lose 10 pounds.
2. eat healthier.
3. exercise on a regular basis.
4. be calm.
5. learn control.
6. learn patience.
7. knit more.
8. design and create.

That's a pretty good list. I'm a train wreck.

Commitment

I apparently have commitment issues. I start writing one blog, only to start another one here. Not for any reason other than for some reason I started feeling very vulnerable...not really the right word...I was just too out in the open and it bothered me at some great degree. So I started a new blog for anonymity.

Today, checking up on the knitting blogs I browse...Mouse had this.



What a great little button. So true.

So here I am back. Why? Because sometimes I think there are people out there who read this. I suppose, there are others like me, who want to be read, yet at the same time don't. It's a weird thing. I am the queen of indecision.

*snork* *hack* *wheeze*

I think I was in high school the last time I caught the flu. I'm trying to convince myself that it's not the plague. Good grief. I've stayed home sick for 2 days, thank goodness it was close to a weekend. I think I hurt myself going to work earlier during the week. Stress plus illness, bad combo.

I don't have pictures. All I have is a quiet apartment (they finally took out the darn photocell so the buzzing wall is history), 70 degree weather, and my computer. My kiddos are so sweet, and well, my parents are wonderful. I don't know how I would have pulled this off. But you know when you look online and it says the flu can last 5-7 days. They aren't kidding.

I've knitted...a row...maybe two on the blanket I'm working on. Knitting is the farthest thing from my mind. But I've been watching a lot of old Star Trek DS9 recently.

Just the voices in my head

The buzzing in the wall is at "medium" right now. It was at a going to go fucking insane "loud" for about 3 hours. Now it's cough tolerable going to go crazy because of the stupid noise, I hate apartments.

So this week...I've been dealing with lovely drama bullshit from the X. Gotta love X's. Our perceptions of the world are so very different. I think he's a jackass and he thinks he's a saint.

But on to better things...why dwell on crap that you can't change especially after the phone was hung up on me for the umpteenth time? This was my Valentine's day present. Flannel sheets that were the wrong size that turned into satin sheets because he thought they were soft and they reminded him of me. A lacqeured rose and a plastic piece he shaped in a heart. Actually I got the heart last night, but I lumped into Valentine's day. It was a very nice day actually. First nice Valentine's day I ever had in my whole life. It's not that the other ones were comparable...in fact they were so craptastic that I think I have some emotional damage from them...that is if I were in fact to muse over them for any length of time.

On the knitting front...I hate to report my slow going. I think at this time I have truly run out of things to knit. I picked up a new lace pattern book which is wonderful, and I'm lacking the needles and the lace yarn to start any of them. And my patience has been lacking lately due to asshat. However, my progress on this little guy keeps progressing...I'm not sure into what. I'm making it up as I go. Seems to not be making ruffles on me this time...can't remember the word for it...making ruffles...new word, yay!

I actually thought brilliantly to myself that I should make tissue box covers. I think I'm getting desperate. Hehe...come to my house I knitted a couch cozy! Well, not yet... ;)

Mommy's counting

My children are wonderful creatures. They are polite and sweet most of the time. They are learning...they are learning that a moment is sometimes needed when mommy has knitting needles in hand. I got all the way to row...

uh, rats...forgot the pattern, but I remembered the yarn...guess I gotta run home for lunch...

...anyway, I think I was on row 15 or so before I realized the clog I was knitting...the toe had migrated somehow to the side of where it was supposed to be. It wasn't because I was counting wrong...*blink* *blink*...oh!...k33 not some random number...

Yes...so happily I frogged away. Again. I will have pictures of projects soon.

Happy Thanksgiving to my readers. All 2 or 3 of you. ;)

*giggle* my "boyfriend"...for lack of better term...is quickly learning how boobytrapped my bedside is...a foray of knitting needles, yarn, patterns, spindles, fluff, scissors (although those *try* to stay by my bookshelf...sometimes they end up on my bed...I'm trying...this kind of amuses me some. But thus far...he'll happily smile as I'm showing him some sort of clog like lump of knitted yarn at 2:00 am. And that, makes me happy.